Something I haven’t written about much is my family. I actually have an older brother who lives in the same town as we do now. When we were kids we were as good as friends as a brother and sister can be. Sure there were times when he would try and suffocate me with a pillow and there were times when I would hit him over the head with my cabbage patch kid – but mostly we got on well.
When my Dad died it was hard on us all but I think my brother didn’t really deal with it. About two months after dad died my brother (who was 18 at the time) moved out and slowly distanced himself from us. Since that time he hasn’t had anything to do with us. Its been hard and has broken my Mums heart but its something that I have dealt with.
Since we moved back home had I hoped that perhaps we could have enough of a relationship that at least our kids could get to know each other. Today was his daughters 5th birthday so the Adman and I went out with the Young man to drop of her present. I was nervous as we headed out there as I wasn’t sure what the reception would be and if my brother would even let us inside ( its that bad - in fact once he literally through my Mum out of his house when she went to drop off his 21st present). When we arrived my brother wasn’t there and his wife was on the phone so I just went inside with the Young man and started talking to my Niece about her first day at school and helped her open her present ( also this was only the second time I had ever met her so she didn’t really have any idea who I was so I tried to explain that I was her aunt). Once my brothers wife got off the phone she didn’t even look at me. So after a few more minutes I told my Niece that we were going and told her to say hi to her dad.
As we left my brothers wife came out and asked us not to come back. I asked her why and tried to say that I thought it would be nice for the Young man and their daughter to know each other. She started going on about how I don’t know what has happened and I just have to leave them alone. This got me really mad as she didn’t know my brother when my dad died and she definitely doesn’t know what happened during that time. Sure she might know what my brother has told her – but its far from the true story because the true story is that nothing happened apart from the fact that our father died and he didn’t deal with it.
Luckily the Adman just bundled us into the car and drove us away. I was so mad and so upset. How could someone deny their child love – a relationship with their cousin and Aunt?
As Adman said they have poisoned themselves to believe their version of truth and there isn’t anything we can do about it. I want to write more about this but I am still so upset about it.
I guess I just have to come to terms with the fact that there will be no type of contact with my brother and his family ever – well unless he needs a kidney of course – maybe then he would contact us.
Bitterness is such as horrible thing to live with and I hate to think how his life must be having to deal with it everyday.
Maybe one day my niece will be old enough to start asking questions and being able to make her own decisions. Until then we will keep on loving her – she just won’t know about it.